Closer
by Rissa85-stargazing-85
Summary: They've been best friends for years. Been there for each other countless times. Now it seems things are changing.
1. Little Feelings

**Title**: Closer (Make Believe)

**Author**: Rissa85

**Part**: One

**Primary characters**: Tia Ramirez, Conner McDermott

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Sweet Valley series.

* * *

**Tia Ramirez**

**It's not like me and Conner are together or anything. It was just that single kiss. One more kiss, one more kiss that we shared after Alanna when he finally wised up and figured out that she's no good for him. Not that I'm good for him, I'm not. We're just best friends, nothing more. I mean sure, we've had our stay-away-from-each-other moments, but all best friends have those, right? Let's just say, we're back like we were before the Elizabeth-Conner-Me love triangle-type thingy that happened at the beginning of the year. Except for that teensy kiss at the Riot Friday night. **

---

Conner Mc Dermott

Sometimes, I really can't stand Tia. I really can't. That melodrama. The Nosiness. But maybe that's why I love her. But I hate the Riot.

* * *

Carrying her cherry and ivory pom-poms in her left hand, Tia sighed and made her way to her locker. The hallways were deserted and cheerleading practice had been trying, and that was saying the least. The shoulder strap of her white duffel bag with the menacing gladiator on the side cut into her right shoulder and she compensated by leaning ever so slightly to the left. Now it was time to go home and take that relaxing bath she had been looking forward to since homeroom this morning. 

What was it with her and Conner? Hadn't it occurred to them both during anytime on Friday night that it wouldn't work? Hadn't they been through the drama it caused when they kissed earlier during the year when Angel left and while he was dating Liz? Perhaps the Riot wasn't good for any of them. She made a mental note to never go to the Riot again.

"Hey," an indifferent and rather relieved voice greeted her as she looked up at her dull green metal locker. Conner, He ran a beige hand through his brown hair and focused his green eyes on the soft lines of Tia's face, noting her worried expression by the persistent rustling of her pom-poms and by the way she was biting her lip.

"Hi." She replied and laughed nervously, "You're here kinda late. Usually you bolt outta here."

"I was waiting."

"For?" she questioned, already knowing the answer and irritated by the flutter of her heart at his statement.

"You." He remarked, off-handedly and moved back to reveal her opened locker. As usual, he and she were so close that knowing each other's locker numbers had come as second nature. She had to smile at this, and let her bag down onto the floor while she took her French and History books out and a picture of Angel fluttered to the floor as both pairs of eyes locked onto the photograph.

"Whoops." Tia broke the awkward silence and much-too-quickly snatched it off the floor and jammed it into her locker, wedging it between her drama and sociology books.

"So…have you talked to him?" Conner asked, jamming his hands into his jean pockets and glancing at her.

"Not as much as I used to. He's really busy now." She muttered, finally slamming her locker shut and looking up into unrelenting face.

"You wanna go for a drive?" He offered casually.

Glimpsing around quickly and noting none of her nosy teammates, she smiled disarmingly to relieve some of the dense tension. "Sure."

* * *

The hot rushing air smacked her face as she glanced sideways out of the passenger window; indeed, it had been an unnaturally humid day with relatively faint and infrequent breezes that did little to quell the impending perspiration that would collect across foreheads and backs under the relentless sun. Turning up the music a notch, an oft-played pop song waned its last chords and the raspy voice of a DJ surfaced. 

"This is ridiculous." Tia muttered, more to herself than to Conner and then sighed.

Conner glanced over at Tia, barely able to catch the frustration in her voice over the rushing air and noisy radio announcer. "What?"

"This is ridiculous!" she threw up her neatly manicured hands and caught a glimpse at him. He had gripped the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles were turning white.

"We've known each other forever. We shouldn't act like this just because of some stupid kiss!" she muttered, waiting for some kind of mutual response from Conner; but, he kept his focus on the asphalt in front of him his eyes occasionally scanning the road as if she had not spoken to him at all. But she knew Conner; sometimes it took him a while to respond, especially if he was deep in thought. He probably was thinking about Alanna, at one point he had had enormous plans to plan a future with her in college with he at Belmont School of Music and she at Tufts-both in Boston; however, their plans had fell by the wayside.

"Some stupid kiss?" Conner questioned his body tense. So far he hadn't really _looked_ at her today at all, save for casually glancing at her when she walked to her locker that afternoon. Just looking at her then had threw him into a tumult of confusion, a bit of revulsion and an ounce of hope, if not dread for the unseen-the unknown. The whole ambiguity of the situation.

Tia continued to talk, not hearing his whisper that was a borderline hiss. "…so you see it was a gigantic mistake! Remember at the beginning of the year when you hooked up with Maria and had really met her at the Riot, and then remember Liz and all those times at the Riot? And then….so it won't work-"she persisted with a heap of emotion and for an instant; Conner couldn't decide if she was trying to convince him or herself the most.

Pulling his mustang into the parking lot, he finally turned to her as she ran a hand through her thick dark brown hair and finally looked up at him through her dark eyelashes. Obviously, she had asked a question and was waiting expectantly, almost pleadingly for his answer.

But he had drowned out her babbling a minute or two before. Always, she had been beautiful, he not that since he had hit puberty when plenty of his nocturnal emissions involved his best friend and when the girls who used to crush on him would throw biting remarks about Tia behind her back. Her dark brown velvety eyes had always held the warm and sunny glow that reminded him faintly of warm sand on a hot day, the sand that could not scorch…the sand that could only comfort.

Perhaps, that was it. Comfort. Solace. After the year dealing with his mother and her embarrassing alcoholism, and then his own self with his _own_ even more embarrassing stints, then the tough time at rehab, the whole ordeal with Alanna and her running away to Chicago and then the whole Liz thing- it seemed Tia. No matter how tough things seemed or had got, it was she that was there. It was always she, always had been and perhaps always would be.

Perhaps that was why he kissed her at the Riot.

"Conner!" Tia snapped, jangling his beige arm, the passenger door ajar and her familiar felt sky blue wallet in her left hand. "What're you waiting for? I'm hungry and you're just staring that off into space. You okay?" those memorable chocolate-colored eyes landed on his with an air of concern.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, he gently shook her hand of his arm and opened his door. "I'm fine, Tee." That comment had come off a little harsh as he looked over and saw a flash of irritation had emerged onto her delicate features. Immediately, she closed her door and walked alongside him to the gleaming glass door of the small coffeehouse.

A man with a flaming hair, probably in his late twenties and with trendy black sunglasses opened the door and then seeing Tia, smiled and held the door open. "Hello Miss." His dark blue jeans and white sweater emitted the aura of a college beatnik accessorized by his small black hat sitting atop his head.

"Thank you." She responded, her kind smile accompanying her civil gratitude. Waiting for Conner to enter as he had entered first and was not one to ever to hold the door for her Tia stood patiently, then a bit uneasily. "Well?" she pressed quizzically, flashing one of her award-winning apologetic smiles to the man who good-naturedly remained with the door held ajar for her.

Awkwardly, Conner nodded his head to the gentleman in a gesture of gratefulness and held the door open as Tia gawked at him and then giggled, her face erupting into quiet and surprised bout of laughter. "My, my. Conner with manners!" she stood on her tip toes and then placed her hand on his forehead. "Hmm…you don't _feel_ warm." A rush of air at their proximity brought a whiff of her cucumber melon-scented skin and hair to kiss his nose and captivate his senses.

Making his way to the counter, a sandy blonde with curly tendrils smiled warmly at the two. "What can I get you two?" '_How about an unruffled friendship on the rocks?_' Conner questioned inwardly, and then his eyes flew open. On the rocks… Alcohol. He hadn't had a single drink since rehab; however hard it had been to resist drink, he had succeeded and it had all been worth it. Of course, he still thought about alcohol from time to time, but that was a natural process in remaining sober and staying strong.

"A caramel frappucino. Medium. Light on the whip cream. The same as always for you?" she questioned, her mouth frowning at him.

He stepped forward. "Black coffee. Regular." Placing a single bill on the counter and off-handedly muttered for the bouncy cashier to keep the change, he waited to the side of the counter to pick up their orders. As Tia placed a few dollars on the counter and then fumbled in her wallet for some change, Conner glanced at her. "I'm paying."

Looking up gratefully, she shook her head. "No, wait. I've got the rest for my order." As she looked down, Conner reiterated. "I'll pay." With the air of finality in his voice that thwarted any attempt for rebuttal. Tia smiled at him after sticking her tongue out at him as she waited for her order standing next to him. "I could have paid for it."

"You would've spent the rest of the afternoon counting change." A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as his eyes scanned the coffeehouse menu, and then traveled to the cappuccino machines. Anything to keep from glancing at Tia and gazing at her. Angrily, he clenched his fists slightly, '_This is getting ridiculous.'_ He thought she was his best friend; he should be able to glance at her platonically.

"…So then I guess the big thing is how Cherie and Aaron supposedly are interested in each other now; but, now I guess Will Simmons doesn't really feel comfortable with Melissa always hanging around Aaron and tutoring him at his house. I swear, sometimes those two really deserve each other, the way they think and act so much the same." Tia commented, her eyes flickering over the menu Conner seemed to be scrutinizing. "Hey buddy, you already ordered something." She reminded him teasingly.

"Yeah?" he muttered, somewhat of his former self returning. He looked over at her as their orders were called and she bounded over in her short bright blue shorts and white T-shirt which offset her golden-ish skin, her dark ponytail pulled back with a white scrunchy.

"We'll sit over there." Tia jutted her chin off into the direction of a small wooden table with two chairs in the middle of the restaurant. Walking over to the table, she sat his drink down and then took the seat across from him and watched as Conner sat across from him slouching as was his custom.

"Practice was killer. I think Coach Laufeld is trying to kill the cheer squad or something. I'm sore all over, and just think I still have that stupid French project due two days from now and now I guess Angel is coming for a visit this weekend and I don't know how I'm going to see him and get everything else I have to get done." She took a sip of her cappuccino.

"Why don't you just chill for a while?" he suggested tartly, bringing the mug to his lips and drinking from it slowly, not heeding the steam that traveled in unhurried swirls into the air above the dark liquid. Angel. With that irritating thought, he grimaced placing his coffee back onto the table with a little more force than necessary and catching the attention of Tia.

"And…you okay?" she questioned concerned.

"Yeah." He cleared his throat and then forced the corners of his mouth into a passable trademark smile of his that on anyone else would be interpreted as a smirk. "When is he here?" Strange. He had never felt such irritation at Angel before…What was wrong with him? It was as if he couldn't have a decent thought without thinking about Tia in that revolting disgusting way as if…as if she and he could be a potential _couple_.

She tapped her index finger absent-mindedly against her temple staring off. "Somewhere early on Saturday morning, I don't really know when but he said he'll call me when he gets in. And he tells me he has a surprise for me, that I'm really gonna like it." Her face lit up intensely as she talked, carrying a vibrant glow.

"How's Liz?" Conner muttered, his knuckles turning white

Curiously, she stopped in mid-sentence. "She's fine. What made you think about her?"

"Can't I ask a question Tee?" he retorted a bit irritably, his brown eyebrows furrowing together.

"Geez, touchy! I'll remember to be careful today. You sure you're okay?" she twirled her green plastic straw around in lazy circles. "'Cuz you've been irritated all day. Everything okay at home, yeah?" she gazed concernedly albeit reluctantly into his deep emerald eyes and he sighed and finished the last of his coffee.

"I'm fine. Ready?"

She nodded and stood following him out the gleaming glass door, the brilliant sun having lowered itself in the sky and painting it a deep tangerine pinkish color, the clouds splayed across the sky in thin wisps. The breeze came slow and the atmosphere seemed heavier though from tension or merely from the still heat of the waning afternoon, she couldn't tell.

* * *

Conner McDermott 

What's wrong with me? It's like I can't focus when I'm around her. You'd think I'd never saw her the way I was acting this afternoon. Hookups are ridiculous. And then comes Saturday.

---

**Tia Ramirez**

**Conner was really off this afternoon. Almost spacey, if you could ever call him that. And me, I was trying not to look at him at all, I mean I've seen this guy countless of times and yet, it was hard to look at him without staring at his green eyes or remembering that kiss. Hookups are stupid. This is ridiculous. Hookups are ridiculous. Maybe I just need to talk to Angel, just being around him fixes me right up. I can't wait until Saturday. **

**---**

**Andy Marsden**

**Was it just me or did my two best friends seem off at the Riot Friday night? And cleverly avoiding each other this weekend when we were up for a group breakfast? And today at school? Am I missing something? **

* * *


	2. Back to Normal

Title: Closer (Make Believe)

Author: Stargazing85

Part: Two

Primary characters: Tia Ramirez, Conner McDermott

Disclaimer: I don't own the Sweet Valley series.

---

**Tia Ramirez**

**Conner and me. Why are we acting so weird around each other? I mean, this is Conner here. Flowerbed Conner. I don't like him. I don't like him. I don't like him. **

-

Conner McDermott

You'd think I'd hate girls with all the crap from my absentee mother, Liz sucking face with Evan behind my back, Alanna lying and drinking behind my back. And Tia kissing me even though I started it behind Liz's back. But I don't. Especially not Tia.

---

For the third time in ten minutes, Tia pulled on the denim blue shorts she wore while she vacuumed her pale-colored room. On first glance, they seemed like nothing special. Marred by random flecks of paint here and there. They were her jeans from sophomore year, faded long since and a little too tight in that backside area but possessing all sorts of sentimental value. Angel and she had painted one of Miguel's bureaus one afternoon, the afternoon when she first considered herself to be in love with him. Two and a half years ago.

On her bed lie her French textbook and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. One of her favorite movies, easily in her top three. She promised herself she would watch the movie as soon as she finished up with her vocabulary exercises. Problem was, the incentive didn't work. She knew that she would probably watch the movie first _then_ do her homework.

"1986 Matthew Broderick? You're stealing my concentration…" she mumbled, putting the vacuum up and flopping on her bed, her dark wavy hair contrasting sharply with the lacy white pillows on which she lay her head. Glancing up at the ceiling, she sighed. Life had been easy then. When she and Angel had been together, barely starting the Varsity cheer squad and so obviously psyched about wearing the gold and green polyester outfit that most of the junior and senior cheerleaders donned on game days. Angel had been so supportive and Andy and Conner (though sophomore year was when he begun to grow up and the junior, freshman, and sophomore girls all looked at him with adoring eyes while glaring at Tia with those same eyes narrowed into slits, their insults carefully veiled yet insulting enough to sting).

Especially the cheer squad.

The girls were astonished that a mere fifteen year old was entering the varsity territory, her and Melissa Fox. At first, the two were met with astonished looks and raised eyebrows; but, then when noticing the association the two girls had, Tia with heartthrob Conner McDermott and to-die-for Will Simmons, the insults began. Always thinly veiled, and locker room gossip spoke of the "whipped" boys for "just some dumb amateur bitches…" Tia always took it with a grain of salt, but Melissa wore her smile. Proud to be the talk of the girls. She thrived on attention, especially one that would consider her lucky for all the jealousy that lie implied in the foul language.

It was almost as if that seemed like another life. Conner and she used to come over to each other's houses nearly every afternoon and veg out. Angel, at first, skeptical of their platonic relationship, warmed to Conner after a while and Conner's girlfriends, all but spitting on Tia, began to be used to having her around often.

Her mind traveled back, further still. To junior high, when Conner asked her to the dance with his trademark smile, lazy in a confident way. She had not liked him then, and it had almost grossed her out before he replied he was joking. After a moment of intense laughter, Andy came out from the bushes holding a Polaroid of her shocked expression. He still had that somewhere in his room.

Her hands behind her head, her dark hair splayed around her, she seemed like an angel, tranquil and unhurried. Completely different from her usual animated self. El Carro High. That seemed like a name foreign and strange. Something that belonged to an alternate universe. Something unreal. Unreal. Unreal, that the high school with the beautiful green lawn and three stories full of classrooms with the famous William Stadium that used to be packed with fans during football season was leveled during the Earthquake.

She felt so detached from life at El Carro…as if her life had begun to move too fast from the end of junior year to now- nearing the end of senior year. She'd never forget the first day of high school, linking arms with a laughing red-haired Andy and a scowling and reluctant Conner McDermott, yelling "First Day of Class? Over!" through the double front doors of the first floor at El Carro High.

Tap, tap. A rapping at her glass broke her from her thoughts and she looked over, her small hands still behind her head. A mysterious pair of green eyes met hers through the glass before lifting up the window and climbing in.

And something was obviously wrong, his demeanor still gave away nothing. His confident, appearing languid but always alert stature leaned one arm against her redwood dresser while stuffing his left hand in the front pocket of his Levis.

"What's up?" she hoisted herself up, and crossed her goldenish legs Indian style, noting the clenching and unclenching of his jaw which usually signaled tell-tale anger or frustration. Almost automatically, she began to remove her French book and Ferris Bueller tape out of the way to make room for Conner on her queen-size bed.

"She's drinking again, Tee." His voice wavered with anger, tinged with disappointment and dripping with disgust and he looked down at her beige carpeting before lifting his tormented eyes to meet hers, full of undisguised emotion.

"Oh Conner." She breathed, knowing how disappointed he felt. When his mother first arrived back from rehab in Minnesota, he had been so psyched that she had actually most likely sobered up for good. She recalled being in House of Java, talking with him, seeing his verdant eyes dance and his leg bouncing up and down from pent-up excitement. "Are you sure? Maybe you're jumping to conclusions?"

"No! Tee, I know what I saw!" he hissed, staring at her hard as her brown eyes widened a bit at his tone and then hardened. "Sit down and hear me out before you go chewing her out." She patted the clear spot on her bed next to her.

He trudged over to her and sat down, his leg beginning to bounce as the result of pent-up energy and unreleased feelings. To be surrounded by her pale-colored room and feminine floral scent would be calming if not for his rising frustration.

"She…left her bedroom door open and I saw enough. She was snoring, passed out on the floor and the room reeked of alcohol." His fists clenched, he sat rigidly with his posture erect and his back completely straight, his breathing hard and his eyes slightly narrowing. Only twice had she seen him like this.

The time when a girl whose boyfriend desired Megan began to spread rumors about Megan and her half-brother. When Conner had confronted the girl, asking about whether she started them, she had actually began to flirt with him and when he grew angry, unable to get a definite answer; Tia remembered his frustration and very quietly telling the girl how lucky she was that she wasn't a man at that moment.

The other time had been the very first time his mother had gotten trashed at a local country club. They had been all of about thirteen. Their last year of junior high and it was the night before graduation. Conner had snuck to her window around 11 p.m., pleading in his confident and reluctant way if she would watch over Megan (in bed recovering from pneumonia) while he took a cab to the country club to pick up his mom.

"Maybe you're overreacting." She watched him as he tensed at her words and swung around, glaring at her with narrowed eyes, nearly startling her and she began pulling absent-mindedly at a stray strand of thread from her beige, white, and pink comforter. Instantly, she knew those had not been the right words to say.

"Overreacting? Damnit, Tee! With the fuckin' bottle lying on the floor? What more evidence do you need? A B.A.C. test?" his voice dripped with antagonism and he ran a beige hand through his short brown hair, shaking.

"Well, excuse me for listening. You come over to talk to me about it, and then when I try to come you down, you lace into me? That makes a lot of since, C." she swung her legs to the edge of the bed, her back to him as she dangled her feet before exhaling. "Look, I know how disappointed you are. I'm here for you to vent. But don't chew me out before hearing me out? Deal? We'll straighten this out."

"Deal." He smiled, almost relieved. "I saw the bottle Tee. And I'm…freakin' out. It'll hurt Sandy. It doesn't bother me much anymore; I didn't have my hopes up too much in the first place for her recovery. But Sandy, she loves Mom sober and into what she does. Just like old times. She's been so trashed from the time I've been twelve that I don't remember much about her sober during high school. But Sandy'll die if Mom goes back."

Tia kept pulling on the stray strand, biting her lip nervously. "Where is she now?" Then she brought her downcast gaze to his face, reluctant to see his hardened expression, one that had been painfully familiar throughout most of times in high school when she came over to Conner's and his mom slurred through the short and awkward conversations.

"At Wendy's house. She doesn't know yet." He looked everywhere but at Tia, his indignant energy almost bursting through his chest and flowing through his veins, his breathing erratic and short. His leg bouncing up and down as he exhaled sharply. "I just…I don't know. I need a place to crash tonight. If I stay one moment in that house, I'll…..I can't stay in that house tonight."

His green eyes finally focused on her heart-shaped face, her cognac-colored eyes, warm and comforting. She looked around, her gaze focused on the carpet for a moment or two before she nodded, "But Megan? What about her? Is she spending the night?"

"I left her a note."

"Oh." She smiled, "Already had a plan?"

"Yeah." He exhaled, his leg continuing to bounce as he pulled the keys from his pocket and leaned over to place them on her nightstand. "I just need to veg."

"Sure." A smile tugged at her lips as she stood, placing her hands on her hips, her dark hair flowing down her back. "But first, you gotta calm down. There's room only for one energyful person in this place…and it _won't_ be you."

"Good." His low and gravelly voice responded, his leg stopping its little bouncing movement and his body suddenly feeling more tired than he previously thought. He glanced at the digital clock on his right. It read: 10:42 p.m. Somehow, it hadn't seemed that late but then again…the time hadn't been the priority in his mind.

"I was supposed to study my French vocab but then you burst in here, so I couldn't. Now it'll have to wait until tomorrow." She walked over to the wall, flicking off the light as the blue light of the blank screen on channel three illuminated the dark room. Suddenly realizing how tired she was, she glanced at the clock and yawned, noting the time. "I was gonna go to the Riot but for some reason I was really tired tonight. Besides, Angel's coming tomorrow anyway."

"Yeah," Conner nodded, his trademark smile answering her. "Ferris Bueller?"

Kneeling down to pop the tape in the VCR, she glanced back, flashing her bright smile. "Of course. Unless you want something romantic or sad and sappy." She finished, knowing how much he despised romance movies and melodramatic sob story flicks.

As the opening tunes of the movie wafted from her stereo and filled the room, she walked over to her door. "I'll go get the supplies." The standard Mallomar apiece and popcorn, their movie-viewing snacks. "A pair of Angel's sweatpants are in the top drawer, next to the VCR. Be right back." And then she flounced off.

He propped himself among the lacy white down pillows on Tia's bed as he placed his hands behind his head, glancing up at her ceiling. This was definitely what he needed. A carefree night with his best friend, comfortable and easy. Without those annoying little feelings and thoughts about her. But mysteriously, they had disappeared. And gone. And now they were back to normal. Just how he liked it.

---

**Tia Ramirez**

**How strange. Those feelings haven't came up again. And I'm glad, 'cause Angel would definitely notice if Conner and I were acting weird. And he's not dumb- he 'd put two and two together. Oh well. We're good-looking people, and we're not blind. Sometimes, we'll look at each other in a different way, but it's nothing serious. Besides Angel's coming tomorrow. **

-

Conner McDermott

Tia and I are just friends. Back to how it used to be. I need some sense of normalcy anyway.


End file.
